Passing of a friend

Mahani was an ex-schoolmate of both hubby and me. I last met her in November last year when we both sent our children to a holiday camp, organised by another ex-schoolmate in Putrajaya. She looked fine and happy.

She passed away last Tuesday. She was my age and she had a stroke.

Earlier at noon, I received an email in the office saying that she was admitted to a hospital. Soon in the evening, we received a text message saying that she had undergone a third surgery and that her artery had ruptured.
She didnt make it and passed away at about 11pm.

My friend was a mother of a nine year old math/science whiz girl and a one year old baby boy. Had been complaining to close friends about overwhelming stress that she's facing at work. And now she's no longer here. She also took with her, a 5 month old unborn baby.

Most of us, her ex schoolmates still dont know what to make of .. all these details about her death. I've been repeating these limited info that I had to other friends whom emailed me from London and even Washington. Well, at least now I'm communicating with some of my long (fortunately not lost) friends ... I said to myself.

Again, when tragedy strike I'm being reminded to take care of myself physically and emotionally first in order to take care of people I love - Love thy self; Call, hug, text those we cherish; Don't wait till tomorrow - for it may be too late.

Shadow of Ashland by Terence M. Green

I had to take care of some family matter back at my hometown. After several days of trying to fit hubby's and children schedule into my plan, I finally decided to go back on my own so hubby can take care of the children tuition classes etc. I took the express bus after 14 years ...

The 4hrs ride back to hometown was quite nostalgic for me bcos it reminds me of how (usually) my father will wait for me at the other end of the journey. This time it was my mother who waited for me at the bus station in Lumut.

The book above accompanied me. The story was short, simple and coincidently match my present life situation. Life and death. Inevitable fact of life but doesn't make it less shocking. I finished the book within the weekend.

Late night movie

I have to bribe hubby to go and watch this with me. Okay you are paying, he said. Since it was a 1045pm movie, my husband was very sure he's gonna fall asleep.
Many said that this is the better movie compare to DaVinci Code of the same author. To me althou' Tom Hanks looked better here and I like the book better than DaVinci Code ... but not the movie. I enjoyed it but not as much as the first one. Maybe bcos it's just too much information - fiction myth/legends intertwine with facts makes a good reading but just too much too fast on screen.
Amidst the cat and mouse chase (bomb tickling, villain to catch) my hubby did doze off.

Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer

"But I am a werewolf" he said unwillingly. "He's a vampire," he added in revulsion. "And I am a Virgo, " Bella shouted in exasperation.

I am both joy and sad.

In joy bcos I have finished reading Eclipse ... and sad bcos of the same reason.
This is the third book of the Twillight saga and so far I like this one the best.

One's preference for any particular book is subjective ... very much like admiring beauty (in the eye of the beholder).

Since I'm a sucker for anything romantic and happily ever after so its not hard to understand why I enjoyed the book. Watching Twillight the movie helped me to visualise each character in the book and how their facial expression would be every time a dialogue is being uttered. Some characters are new, but with the second movie schedule in Nov 09 and the listing of new casts even as far as the 3rd movie (courtesy of a friend who bought the HFM mag and told me about the 3rd installment of the saga -I'm overjoyed), so it's not hard for me to put a face to every character. Sort of making my own video in my head while reading the book.

I dont want the book to end. I kept my pace slow but with today being a Saturday, I finished reading half the book till the end. And now contemplating on whether or not I should get the 4th book, so soon. Maybe I should give it a rest first and read other titles (easily said than done, especially when I'm in one of those phase -sighhhh). Indeed, patient is a virtue.

So many books, so little time

I so feel like Frank Zappa ... when he quoted those words.

Last Saturday, I dragged the whole family to a book sale. I couldnt find the book I spesifically wanted, nevertheless I did (accidentally) end up with 6 other titles ^_^

The next day, I managed to persuade hubby (and our boys) to stop by at another bookstore so I can get 'the' book and I ended up with another 3 titles. How did that happen? Those, plus two books 'borrowed' from my sis-in law I now have 15 books in my to-read list ?!?##

Kak Lin if you are reading this, I think your Khaled Hosseini books are going to be with me for 'quite a while' before I can have it return :)

Since this week is the exam week for my kids so after dinner is revision time so that left me with little time to kill before hitting the sack. Can't stay up too late on week days. And since I'm reading Eclipse (sequel to New Moon), it takes quite a willpower to only limit myself to only 3 chapters nightly. Sigh

Okay got to return to Edward (the vampire character in Eclipse).

To Mak, Ibu, Mama, Mommy, Umi, Omma, Madre

Happy Mother's Day

Thank you for your unconditional love

Received this from my two sheepish looking boys this morning. They have been hiding the gift for the past 2 weeks from me. Bought it from the school library sale. Needless to say I was touched. See how easy to make a mother happy? :)

So have you talk/call/contact your mother lately? That's a gentle reminder to yours truly as well.

Love Story meets Viva La Vida by Jon Schmidt

The song Love Story by Taylor Swift sort of grow on me. I kept trying singing to it whenever it aired on radio. But since I dont know most of the lyrics, so the chorus became my saviour - I kept repeating 'Romeo take me ...etc
As of Viva La Vida by Cold Play, I swear I took notice of the title only recently at the office when I saw the video appeared on Channel V. I have love the intro of the song for quite sometime now so I thought I want to search the song for my ring tone. Imagine my surprise when I search to find Love Story lyrics and I found this video which combine both songs which I currently adore. It's done/arrange brilliantly by Jon Schmidt. Quite long but worth every minute.

Let the sadness flowout, to make room for the light

I was at my parent's place. Suddenly my abah (father) walked out from the middle room. Not his master bedroom but the room which he used to take his afternoon nap. My jaw almost hit the floor when I saw him. I immediately knew something was amiss. This cannot be! Cautioned my head. When he saw me with my mouth forming a wide O but no sound coming out from me, my abah smiled and asked me why do I look the way I do ( I can imagine my own face - surprise, confused, excited- all in one) I can't remember whether he actually utterred those words but it sort like he telepathically said it to me. I somehow found my voice and said this can't be real. What's not real, he asked ... again without opening his mouth. YOU ... I said. I must be dreaming! You are not here! Why not, he asked. By this time I confirmed that I can read minds bcos he was smiling all the way but at the same time I can hear voices from him. You are suppose to be dead!! ... I blurted out accussingly. He wasn't denying it .. but just nodding his head like trying to digest what I'm trying to tell him.
So what now ... are you telling me .. you are NOT? By this time I was beyond confuse. Part of me said this is a dream, I keep saying it over and over again but at the same time there was another part of me whom just can't believe my luck. What if ...
All of a sudden my whole body was overcome with excitement. I can't believe this!! My abah is here .. and he's well .. and most importantly .. he's alive.
You know what I had to go thru? I suddenly said ... this time allowing myself to be angry at my father. When we thought you were ... dead? Not too sure whether I should use the word 'dead' .. in case he decided to validate it. But it came out from my mouth all the same.
So what did you have to do, I heard he asked me. I don't know where to begin to answer him. But answered him, I did.
I started with all the numerous forms and paperworks that I had to do on behalf of mom in order for her to claim entitlement of their asset. And you didn't leave any will, I said accussingly. He smiled, urging me to continue. And you have all these lands which you co-own with my uncles (your brothers) which I have to be responsible in making sure who are the beneficiaries, what are their shares and entitlement. Do you know how difficult it is to minimise dispute especially amongst relatives - your own uncles, I said to him. And it is still far from over. I still have tonnes of work to do. Not to mention the emotional roller coaster all of us had to endure ... I screamed silently.
But if you are here ... meaning I dont have to do it anymore right? Somehow I found that difficult to believe.
Abah .. I finally said. You can't really be here. I said this to convince myself that this whole conversation didn't take place. Desperately wanting it to be untrue. You know that the hospital already issued a death certificate for you? I was waiting for him to ask me to handle/rectify the matter too.
I found myself saying, oh shoouuttt... what do I say to them? Pls take back the cert.! There has been a HUGE mistake. My father didn't die. He merely sleeps like he use to every afternoon ... and now he wakes up. By the time I finished forming this thoughts in my mind, I saw my abah gave me his knowing smile as if saying I'm sorry you have to go thru all this.
I went to him and touched his hands and kissed his cheek ... they were cold. ( I did the same gesture at the morgue after they bathed him). I knew then ... that I was dreaming. But I kept holding on to it, refuse to allow myself to wake up so that the dream would last longer. But this time there was no conversation. He was just there.

The alarm went off at 5:45am.
This is the first time, I dreamed of my father since he passed away 66 days ago.

The weekend

It was a long weekend. 3 days with Friday being a Labour Day. My family drove back to my parents place in Damar Laut to send my mom back (she was with us for the past two weeks in KL) and then to my in-laws place in Ipoh. It was good to see everyone. On Saturday night, we all went out for dinner at a nearby stall where we had to book in advance food and table for 11 of us :) Almost too soon it was time to say goodbye again. Well, till the next long weekend ...